Thinking

Sometimes it takes pain to make the brain a little smarter

Mind Blown

I just can’t seem to get over the way
He touches me without even touching me
and that’s what touched me
He made my mind cum 😩
understand this feeling y’all
Something different very unique
I’d wait forever for you
Mind gone mind blown

Hurt or Hope

Holding on can hurt more than letting go
 So just let it all go and be thru 🤷🏽‍♀️
Easier said than done
 If holding on hurts more than letting go
Why do we choose to endure the hurt
 instead of letting go and easing the pain
Fact is
We’re not really holding on to the hurt but more so the hope
The hope of things going back to what it used to be
When it was happiness, laughter, deep conversations and joy
The hope of knowing all the time and effort
wasn’t just for nothing
Wasn’t just for arguing, fighting and lonely nights
Hopes that strangers that became friends aren’t strangers again
Holding on to hope even when it hurts
 Hoping that all good things don’t always come to an end

Forever Yours

I just needed you to be for me like you swore you’d be
like you swore you’d catch me if I fall
well Um,
I FELL
AND
      you didn’t catch me
bruised my head heart and ego
and
YOU?
     Well, Yea you fell too
      right into another woman’s arms... AGA😤...
right into ANOTHER woman’s arms...AGAIN ... 😪
you leave me,
left me hurt, confused and crying
Crazy thing if you wanted to come back I’d let you
🤦🏽‍♀️without even thinking No hesitation
Cuz inside I’m DYING, dying to feel
your touch
         your kiss
    your presence 😩
dying to feel you inside of me again
To hear your voice that sends vibrations down my spine
To hear you say that you love me
Even though now I know
    But you’re forever in my heart I wish you the best a prayer for you I’ll always say 😘
   
                                        Forever Yours

Thoughts!!

        truth be told you can never forget me even when you forget me
I’m embedded in your memory
mind body and soul
had to gracefully bow out
but never did I fold
held some things in cried a lot of it out
kept some things away
trying to punish you for punishing me
in the end it was only me punishing ME
you moving on and being “happy“
 me holding on... hoping and waiting
Waiting and hoping...
 me realizing I’m in this ring alone..
Yea I was fighting, fighting, MYSELF
Reality hits me like
 GIRL! you got this pick yourself UP
Never be afraid to
start over, start fresh, start smarter, start stronger, start wiser
you are YOU!! I know I’m  gonna be ALRIGHT!!!

Memories

Be telling them like:
 👀LOOK !!! You either with me or against me
They straight tell me:
“I’m against you”
🤦🏽‍♀️Smh my own worst enemy 😩
“Ima Come out of nowhere make you cry angry and sad”
But Im tryna move forward don’t want to think about what I had
“I could come back and hit you with the joy laughs all the good times”
Yes, I would like that so please be nice
“I’m always nice I’m beautiful, I’m truthful, I’m the realest”
So why torture me with the hurtful feelings?
“I’m the balance that you need you gotta take the good with the bad”
I’ve been the good to the bad why do I have to relive it?
“To remember who you are and who you don’t want to be”
But I know who I am and love who I’m becoming
“ But It’s me that keep all that in tact”
🧐hmmm
“ the remember me’s keep you from repeating the same pain twice
Well, it should and if you listen the first time it would”
Kinda makes sense
“ I know, I’m the balance that you need gotta take the good with the bad”
You said that already
“Yeah, but you didn’t listen, you questioned ME,
But...
“There’s no but’s.. if I leave, I’m going to take all Of it with me
the bad of course but certainly the good.. you have too plenty of good to
worry about the little of bad”
😌you’re right
“ I know, I’m the balance that...
Yea yea 🙄
“Question is are you with me or against me?”

Refund

Went from wanting a refill to a refund
A refill of your love, turns out it was never real
So a refund of my time love and patience
Could be the best deal
but that’s something that will never take place
so therefore its just learning how
To gracefully bow out
Even though the hurt in me wanna scratch his eyes out
Punch him maybe kick him one time or two
but the love inside of me never want to see him hurt. Actually,
I wanna Hug him and Kiss him one time or two
nobody said it would be easy, but why it gotta be so hard?
So how did I get to needing a refund and not a refill
Hours long conversations to none at all
Telling me I was his world To having no feelings at all
But if I get to dwelling on the past I’d get nowhere at all
Crying everyday when I should be smiling everyday
I’m getting so much better letting the hurt go
I was giving you my all but had to wait for you just to get nothing at all
frustrations of missing you waiting on THAT day
My promises was never broken they were just slightly delayed
Just to prove my fears were right and I meant nothing at all still,
silly me because he said he loved me
I fought thru it all the lies the cheating the pain and hurt
Ten toes down, solid
I won’t let you need or want for nothing
But if you shaky and talking crazy ima freeze up
Words hurt yes but when The actions match those hurtful words
A pain that can’t be described
I’m realizing some love battles Just can’t be won
So now I’m at the point where I don’t want a refill or even a refund
But I love you